Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Perfect Event


The Siachen Glacier! Kilroy Camp at a Height of 21500 feet above Mean Sea Level – ambient temperature outside the fibre-glass mountain-hut was minus 40 below zero. Complete cloud over in the valley. Visibility in flash-light - White-Out ! All troop movements halted until next ‘Clear-Weather’ signal.

1:00 a.m.
The radio set cackled with Subedar Man Singh’s voice, ‘Alpha 1 calling Kilroy Sheep; Alpha 1 calling Kilroy Sheep’ palpable urgency
‘Kilroy Sheep standing by Alpha 1, what’s the problem?’
‘Saab, Virender’s got a severe pain in the stomach; he’s vomiting! I think he has high fever also, Saab’
‘OK Subedar-saab, tell me, if the belly-button were the center & you draw a clock on Virender’s belly, at what o’clock is the maximum pain?’
‘Well Saab …. if the head-end is 12 o’clock, his pain…… is ……. at 8 o’clock, saab’
‘OK Subedar-saab, will you please slowly, gently but firmly press on the area of maximum pain, and tell me his reaction … do it now … and tell me ….quickly’
After a few minutes the radio cackled again, ‘ Saab, as soon as I pressed, he tensed his belly rock-hard, screamed in pain and vomited soon afterwards, Saab !’ controlled fear trembling in the voice.
‘OK, stand-by for further orders, over-n-out,’ he clicked off the radio set and said, ‘Capt Manishankar, Virender has a ruptured Appendix, which needs to be operated upon ASAP, or else, he will die … we need to evacuate him & send him to the Field Med Out Post for urgent surgery.’

Capt Manishankar had that ‘totally disgusted’ look in his eyes when he asked, ‘How much time do we have, Doc ?’
‘Look Mani, against regulations, I have some secret stock of Intravenous Antibiotics here, just for such a situation. If I get him here, I can give him 2 doses, that can stall the fatal septicemia for about 15 hours, maybe 18 hrs … with a lot of luck.’
‘OK, let’s get him down here first … but how on earth will he descend the sheer vertical 200 feet ‘Angels Face ‘ .. that he has to do on his own steam … you think he can do that, Doc ?’
‘No way, Mani, the guy can hardly stand … how can he climb down a rope, at this hour, in his condition, with this weather, in this visibility man ! He’ll collapse right there!’
‘But if he stays there he dies anyway, right ? So, we have to try to get him down, Doc. But, even if he survives his descent & reaches here, how will the choppers come in to evacuate him through this cloud cover, Doc ? We haven’t seen the Sun in 4 days now!’
‘We got no options here, Mani .. situation is non-negotiable … we got to give him this only chance!’
‘Kilroy Tiger to Alpha 1 … send emergency link-patrol to evacuate Naik Virender, now !! Mortar support to provide covering-fire, if any enemy activity happens …over-n-out’
‘Alpha 1 to Kilroy Tiger … jo hukum, Saab …over-n-out’

4:45 a.m.
Unbelievably, Virender was still alive when the link-patrol from the Observation Point at 24000 feet reached Kilroy Camp. Virender’s blood pressure was 80/50; pulse 125/min; he was sweating, unable to speak, ghostly pale & burning with fever of 39 degrees Celsius. The diagnosis was confirmed in the medical hut, and after initial resuscitation, he was stabilized with intravenous re-hydration, tepid-sponging, intra-muscular painkiller injection & got the 1st dose of IV Antibiotics. Soon, his BP was 110/70, pulse 100/min … how he had survived the descent of 2500 feet, how he had climbed down ‘Angel Face ‘ ….. was a snub to all medical science !

6:45 a.m.
‘Kilroy Tiger calling Tiger Base HQs … need to evacuate single casualty to Field Med Out Post for life-saving surgery, Sir … man diagnosed as Burst Appendix with frank Peritonitis, now stable enough to withstand evacuation, Sir !’
‘Arrey-yaar Mani, ask Doc if he’s sure or not. These young MOs …. they tend to panic & make a mountain out of a molehill … talk to him & see if it’s really so serious or not.’
‘Anticipating exactly this response, Doc already consulted Major Dutta, MO-in-Charge Base Camp, Sir.
I have spoken with him too, Sir. This is the real thing, Sir.
Request immediate Casevac , Sir !
Kilroy Tiger standing-by Sir, Over-n-out’

9:30 a.m.
‘ Tiger Base HQs calling Kilroy Tiger …HQ Ops Control declined Heliborne Medical Casevac, citing complete cloud cover your sector … standing-by for next Clear-Weather signal … keep-up morale of troops, Mani!’

After giving the 2nd painkiller injection to Virender the MO walked over to scrambler-radio hut.
‘Kilroy Sheep, calling Air-OP Eagle 3 …Kilroy Sheep, calling Air-OP Eagle 3’.
After a few minutes of static, the cold freezing his face & legs, he heard the familiar voice of Capt Shiva, dare-devil Air-Op pilot, who’s missions of Casevac were legend.
‘Eagle 3 calling Kilroy Sheep … Hey Doc ! did you get 2 bottles of Scotch I sent last week ?’
‘Received 2 bottles intact and missed your company drinking them, Eagle 3’
‘Promise to send u latest edition Playboy, next sortie Doc ! You just have 22 days left before you de-induct , Doc … then there will be more bottles of Scotch for you & me … what’s the sit-rep now, Doc ?’
‘Shiva, I can hold this guy for another 6 hours max ….. after that, he’s going to …… fade. I am gonna give him my last 3 ampoules of IV antibiotics now. And, I’ll have the last Pethidine injection left … only for his Evac …... he needs a miracle ….. or you !’
‘Stand-by doc …I’m watching the weather, will move even if …… until …. at least the clouds thin-out.
But right now, I’m grounded, Doc … just no-can-do …… good-luck…over-n-out’

10:30 a.m.
2nd dose of IV antibiotics given to Naik Virender. His BP was 120/70, temparature 38 degrees celcius, his breathing rapid-n-shallow due to the pain. In the cookhouse, troops were talking about Virender having been blessed with his 3rd daughter just a few months back. And how he had been the best mountaineer in his platoon 3 yrs running. His Platoon Havaldar, was looking at the envelope containing the ‘last letter to the family’ which Virender had given him before going to the OP.

12:30 p.m.
The whole valley leading upto Kilroy Camp still covered in thick clouds … though, vertically above the Camp, the clouds thinned out.

1:30 p.m.
Cloud-cover directly above Kilroy Camp cleared … clear blue-sky could be seen …. as if through a giant hole-in-the-umbrella …. of the clouds.

2:00 p.m.
‘Kilroy Sheep calling Air OP Eagle 3 … Kilroy Sheep calling Eagle 3’
‘Eagle 3 standing by …what’s up Doc ?’
‘Eagle 3 glad to hear your voice …. Shiva, can you come in topside …. through the roof ? Cloud-cover still thick on Kilroy Valley ….. along your usual approach …. but directly above the camp, the clouds have cleared …. We can see the clear blue-sky from here. If you can hover exactly over our camp co-ordinates ….. as you see from the map, we’ll guide you down with all the flash-light beams we can get .. Time’s running out for my patient … I have no equipment to operate on him here … he can live and recover 100% if he has surgery … if not, he’ll be dead within next 6 hours.’
‘Geez Doc … that’s why they say … good friends are worse than enemies …. I have never done this before damnit ! …. But Okay !!!! Stand-by for Casevac Kilroy … will give it my best shot … put in some prayers for your patient …. And me ! Over-n-out’


3:30p.m.
Every man had his eyes strained for the past 30 minutes …..looking up at the ‘hole-in-the-clouds’ above Kilroy. Ground-winds on Kilroy were around 40kmph. In the medical hut, Virender was groaning, unresponsive ….. his BP 90/50 again. Scrambler-radio-hut had 8 men sitting around in pin-drop silence. Inclement weather was biting …. terrifying. Man versus weather seemed to be impossible odds to overcome. Troops morale was sinking along with Virender’s condition.
He was a good soldier. And a father of 3… !

3:45p.m.
Suddenly the sight & sound of a Cheetah Helicopter was seen & then ….. heard …. in the blue ‘hole-in-the-clouds’. 18 men rose as one, and flashed their torches upward … everyone held their breath … Would it work ? Some men were beginning to smile … when suddenly the chopper flew out of sight… hidden by clouds!
Gone !!!!
Agonising disappointment !
Dashed hopes silently screaming in every heart. 18-flashlights beaming upward in the daylight.
Could it be seen from up there ?
They must have missed it !!!
15 seconds .. 30 seconds … 1 minute… 2 minutes …and there ! the chopper was seen again … and incredibly, it began to descend !

Everyone knew it was going to be a treacherous descent from that height ….. ground wind-speeds were 60 kmph now, enough to crash the chopper itself ! And yet, it came down … in a broad spiral … round n round n round …spiraling down .. down … 600 feet, 400 feet, 200 feet .. the sound of the chopper filled the whole valley ; as it began to line-up for the landing…the wind speed suddenly picked up…n the chopper swayed n tilted at a terrible angle for a few moments … hung motionless in mid-air for a split-second …. everyone missed a heart-beat … and then gasped in relief … as the chopper rode away on the the winds & circled back, low over the camp, to regain horizontal. The chopper landing site was marked with a giant ‘H’ with 30 kgs of Wakefields Chocolate-powder (!!!), which looked a dull-maroon color on the soft-white snow.

4 men stood outside the medical hut, carrying a stretcher wih Virender lying on it … groaning in pain. When the chopper hovered at 3-4 feet above the ground, desperately trying to maintain horizontal, the stretcher bearers broke into a RUN … bent low at the waist ….. even as the top snow flew around in a fantastic dance ….
At that altitude, even walking fast made a man breathless b’cos the oxygen in the air was so sparse.
And these 4 men … they RAN the 50 metres to the chopper !

The co-pilot opened the door …. The men somehow moved Virender onto the floor of the chopper where the rear-seats had been removed. The chopper blades still blew a furious little storm of soft snow all around. The stretcher bearers, who simply could not breathe, ran back, still bent at the waist.

4:00 p.m.
Capt Shiva of Air-OP flew off carrying Naik Virender to the Field Med Out Post ….. 50kms away. Scrambler hut radioed “successful evacuation” messages to Tiger Base HQs, MO in-charge Base Camp & HQs Field Med Out Post & to Subedar Man Singh at the OP !

And then …. the waiting began !

Capt Manishankar said, it would take 30 minutes to reach the Field Med Out Post. Doc added, another 10 minutes to “receive-casualty”, plus … another 10 minutes to remove clothes & shave the abdomen; 30 minutes to 1 hour more for the surgery. If there was too much abdominal contamination with pus & faecal matter, the thorough abdominal washout could take even longer.
If Virender’s BP crashed & he needed resuscitation intra-operatively … he could still die from Irreversible Septicaemic Shock.

Since there was roughly 2 hours to wait, some men had some tea, the cook-house prepared dinner, Doc knocked-off a few shots of Scotch Whisky …Capt Manishankar went around saying, “let’s Pray, let’s Hope !”
Collective silence. Grim anticipation.

7:00 p.m.
‘Kilroy Sheep calling MO i/c BaseCamp …. request sit-rep on Casevac, Sir !’
‘Stand-by Kilroy Sheep, will inform sit-rep ASAP … you did your job Captain … nothing more you could do … whether he lives or dies, no one can fault you! Hang in there! Over-n-out’
Senior-NCO Kilroy Camp, quietly left the Officers Hut, nodding his head from side-to-side.

7:30 p.m.
‘Kilroy Tiger to Tiger Base HQs … request sit-rep on Casevac, Sir !’
‘Stand-by Manishankar … we have heard that surgery was underway … no info on outcome yet’
Suddenly, seeing the lethargy all around, Capt Manishankar ordered surprise “weapons check parade” in his typical authoritative manner! The men scrambled to comply … the gloom lifted for a while.

Cook reported wastage of food-stuff after supper that evening.

8:00 p.m.
‘Tiger Base HQs to Kilroy Tiger, unable to inform Casevac status update … keep morale of troops high … ‘

8:30 p.m.
They were all gathered in the medical hut. Virender’s misadventure could happen to anyone, anytime ! Everyone of the men felt vulnerable. What was the use of having a Doctor around ? What was the use of having Choppers ?
‘Virender told me he was going to die’ said his buddy, who came from the same village as him.
‘I told him he would come to harm if he didn’t do his ‘pooja ‘ everyday’, said another.

9:00 p.m.
Suddenly, the 2nd-radio-operator from Scrambler-hut entered the medical hut breathlessly.
‘Divisional Commander Brigadier Durga Bahadur, standing by for transmission for you, Captain Manishankar, Sir !’
There was pin drop silence in the Scrambler-hut, when they heard the nasal high-pitched voice of their famous commander ……

‘Captain Manishankar, Capt Ghosh …and all you men at Kilroy …. This is your Divisional Commander from HQs Field Med Out Post ….. I wish to confirm ……that I have just spoken to Naik Virender Singh after his recovery … I repeat … I have just spoken to Naik Virender Singh after his recovery ….. from General Aneasthesia ….. his operation ….. his operation …… was a complete success ! The surgeon informed me …….. that he had a very severe condition … and could have died … if he hadn’t had this Surgery in time.
I congratulate … all of you !

This re-affirms our belief in our entire military organization …. be it the grit & determination & bravery of our men or the effective logistics of our comunications system protocols & airborne medical casevac & the Army Medical Corps !

Tell the jawans … that all the Gods were with us … and no matter what …we will winnnnn !

Men, I’m proud to go into battle with you. God Bless you all ! Over-n-Out’.

(26 soldiers in the Scrambler-radio hut … Officers, JCOs, NCOs & Sepoys … were smiling … …with tears in every eye!!)

----------- x ----------

Rafaela

The story of Rafaela cannot be told unless one knows Papa Joe’s Pub in Singapore …a vibrant party hub,at 180 Orchard Road, Singapore 238846 …. a reputation accorded by the droves of locals and the foreign legion who frequent its premises on a regular basis. You'll have a selection of food-items to chomp on; and the flavour is somewhat of the Tex-Mex origin. Entertainment is provided by a "live" band. To get you oriented, here’s a map of the place .

A Map of Papa Joe’s Pub (Singapore)

Dance Floor

3

Dance Floor - 3

Dance

Floor

3

Lounge - 1

BAR-3

Lounge

2

MAIN

Dance Floor

Passage

way

Dance Floor - 2

BAR-2

Dance Floor - 2

Live Music Band

BAR-1

Dance Floor - 2

Passageway

Balcony

Entrance

I was in between my marriages … footloose & fancy-free. Licensed …. to kill. I had come from Malaysia, to Singapore to try to land a job with the National Health Group … but I didn’t quite make it. Frustrated, angry … I found myself in this pub drinking Bloody Marys with a vengeance. Started off at Bar-1, drifted to Bar-2 …and sat on a tall bar-stool watching the crowd dance in the Main Dance floor.

The crowd was made up of mainly two kindsa people …the rich (men) and the beautiful (women). The rest were mostly the airline crews of every conceivable Airlines in the world … ranging from United & Lufthansa to Thai & Eva. They were black, blonde, white & brown … blue eyed, brown eyed & black eyed …. But two factors were common to the entire crowd … they were all sexy … and they were all … on the make. I was an oddity … an Indian, an employee of the Malaysian government … with all my libido and … my naiveté.

And there she walked into my consciousness … accompanied by two men in their late 20s, white-skinned, blonde, blue-eyed young muscular Gods … smelling of money.

She was about 5’10” … statuesque, voluptuous and shockingly fair-skinned. Her hair was obviously dyed blonde. Her face … was captivating … a stand-alone beauty in a hall full of beautiful women. Every feature - the full lips, the luxurious & rouged cheeks, the light-hazel eyes and the long, slender straingt nose…. were a divine combo. But I remember it was her posture, her attitude ….. that was the most stunning! Regal, imperious ….proud of being a woman. Like as if she spoke, “O ye men! Come admire me!” She was dressed in a pale orange cloud-like soft silk dress that clung to her curves & flared at her feet but revealed a cleavage that was… deep & tantalizing. I think she wore 3” heels too. Her features put her in uncertain ancestry…. part Malay, part Chinese & part … Irish! But altogether, a superlative specimen of the human female form that I had never seen before.

The Englishmen brought her to the Bar-2, where I was sitting …. She stood 6 inches away from me, elbow on the bar counter, with back towards me . For a moment, I was like ‘back in school’ … breathless, speechless, overwhelmed by a ‘dame’ …. Transient palpitations & excitement … but that feeling passed …. and I regained my composure. I sidled up to her just behind her shoulder and pitched in ….

Me:

Hello !

She turned her head slightly, looked at me sideways … made eye contact for a split-second … lips curved in a polite, bored semi-smile and turned her back to me. It felt like the princess had just dismissed her stable boy! She continued watching the crowd on the dance floor while her 2 escorts ordered their own drinks & paid no attention to her. I moved my bar-stool closer behind her, so that I could speak right into her ear!

Me:

Do you see anyone on the floor you would like to dance with? I don’t.

She shook her head … a very subtle negation.

Me:

Do you want to dance?

No response.

Me:

You need a coupla drinks before you hit the floor.

Delicate shrug, with an almost imperceptible tilt of the head

Me:

Your friends have already got their drinks … can I get you one ?

No response.

Me:

Lady, can I buy you a drink?

She turned her head and finally, actually looked at me squarely, over her shoulder. When she spoke there was that slight arrogant tilt of the head, twinkling eyes & a hint of a smile.

She:

Why would you?

Me:

It would be my pleasure. You’re easily the best looking girl here tonight … probably, the best looking I’ve ever seen.

She:

Probably ?

Me:

Well, I ‘ve seen Angelina Jolie up close too!

She:

Really!!!

And she laughed … a short, sharp silvery laughter … looked at her 2 friends further down the bar …oblivious of her.

She:

Okay … make it a scotch … on the rocks

Me:

Yep … scotch-on-the-rocks coming right up!

5 minutes later, when I silently handed her the drink, she was still leaning against the bar … her escorts still occupied elsewhere. We clinked our glasses lightly & sipped our drinks quietly for a while. I was aware of every breath she took. ‘Funky Town’ came on and the crowd was enthused in the dance.

She:

You alone here ?

Me:

Yeah … a traveller … passing through Singapore

She:

Where are you from?

Me:

India … working in Sarawak, Malaysia

She:

Ah ! India … Shah Rook Khan’s country ! What do you do?

Me:

I am a Doctor. And you ? What do you do for a living ?

She:

Aaah ! I just look pretty & make the men happy.

Me:

That’s hardly work …. for woman who’s made like you!

She:

You have no idea!

Me:

Really ? Tell me about it.

She:

Do you swim ?

Me:

Yeah … a lot.

She:

Do you enjoy it?

Me:

I love to swim.

She:

Well, I swim everyday … but for me … it’s work … I need to swim to maintain my skin & my shape.

Me:

Well ...I can tell you …your ‘work’ … is highly productive … you are simply breathtakingly beautiful.

She:

I know. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t. Then I could have had a simple ordinary life.

Me:

Never heard a woman wish she were not beautiful. Very strange. No man in your life ?

She:

Well, I do have a father & a brother alive … somewhere!

Me:

No, I meant a husband … or a boyfriend.

She:

A husband ? (Again that short, sharp silvery laughter) Can any man marry me & be comfy about it ?

Me:

Dunno about being comfy … he’d be worried sick about who all were hitting on you.

She looked at me again, briefly.

She:

Exactly! (She sips her drink) You’re quite smart.

Me:

Well, I’d be very insecure myself if I had a wife like you. Have you ever bin married ?

She:

Twice …. and divorced twice too.

Me:

Huh ? Why would any man divorce you ?

She:

Just like you said … both of them … were always paranoid about which of their friends / brothers …. were hitting on me. If I ever went out, I would always be asked to explain where I was.

Me:

But the love & romance ?

She:

That lasted only until 1 month after marriage … after that … they became ‘possessive husbands’. They were good men though. But they didn’t know how independent I was. They couldn’t handle it.

Me:

Children ?

She:

None, thank Gawd !

Me:

How long have you been … single ?

She:

Almost 8 years now.

Me:

No boyfriend ?

She:

Not, in the conventional sense.

Me:

What do you mean ?

She:

Well, he’s 50 yrs old, married, a professor of English, in Manila.

Me:

Philippines! So when d’you get to meet up? How often do you meet?

She:

Last I met him was 3 months ago.

Me:

I’m wondering … how does he qualify … as a boyfriend … when he’s hardly around?

She:

Hmm .. yeah … even my friends wonder about that……

Again for a while, we sipped our drinks in a comfortable silence.

Me:

Smoke ?

She:

What do you have ?

Me:

Dunhill regular

She:

I’ll have my own (She found a pocket somewhere in that orange cloud she wore … and drew a slim B&H Menthol)

Me:

Outside ?

She:

Yeah.

I waved the way out & followed her out to the Balcony. I watched her glide. I watched her swish-n-sway … elegant in how she held her dress, gracefully negotiating the tables. The rains had stopped. The roads glistened bright in the darkness. The sound of music inside was faint.

Still beauty of the night.

And there was … her magic!

Me:

You were telling me about your boyfriend ….. what makes him special ?

She:

Wellll … he doesn’t care about my looks ... or how sexy I am. He treats me like a person. If he doesn’t like my dress, he says so. When he wants to be quiet … he tells me to be quiet. But he’s not selfish… he makes sure I get … mmm .. my pleasure too. And (giggle) get’s real mad if I don’t keep his books back in place.

Me:

A genuine guy…!

She:

Yesss ! That’s the word … genuine! And he’s completely lost when I get mad at him … he has absolutely no clue how to make me feel better. And then again he gets mad at me. He’s (giggle) so cute then … jussst like a little boy!

Me:

Doesn’t he try roses & poetry and all … to woo you back? After all … he’s an English professor, like you said

She:

Naah ! He’s brain-dead when he’s upset. He does read out poems … long ones … and very … passionately … but that’s only in bed … after we … after we make love.

Me:

Has he ever read out Kahlil Gibran to you ?

She:

Who?

Me:

Kahlil Gibran

She:

No , never heard of him

Me:

Hmm … he’s one my favourite.

She:

Poet ?

Me:

I think he’s more like a … philosopher, a teacher and a thinker. But he’s very romantic.

She:

Mmmm?

Me:

He speaks so beautifully about Love … I don’t remember all the words … but it’s something like …

I am the lover's eyes,

and the spirit's Wine,

and the heart's nourishment…

I am the poet's elation,
And the artist's revelation,
And the musician's inspiration…

I am sweeter than a violet's sigh;
I am more violent than a raging tempest …

Gifts alone do not entice me;
Parting does not discourage me;
Poverty does not chase me ….

I am Truth, beseeching Truth …

She:

That’s so beautiful

Me:

I wish I knew the full poem

She:

Still, I like him already. You know any more ?

Me:

Yeah … he spoke of ‘The First Kiss’

She:

Tell me … tell me ….!

For a split second I thought I saw a little girl asking for more chocolate

Me:

Again …I don’t remember all the words …except the parts …which I liked most

She:

Jussst … go on

Me:

The First Kiss

is the dividing line between

Doubt that beguiles the spirit and saddens the heart,

Certitude that floods the inner self with joy…..

It is the beginning of the song of Life

the first act in the drama of the Ideal Man…...

It is the link between the Silence of the feelings … and their Song…..

It is a word uttered by four lips

proclaiming the Heart a throne, Love a King, and Fidelity a crown…..

It carries the lovers from the world of weights and measures

into the world of Dreams and Revelations…..

She:

Oh ..! It’s so romantic … so beautiful.

Me:

Shall we go in … ?

She:

No …please (she put her hand on my arm) let’s just stay here for a while … it’s so beautiful …

Me:

Sure

She stood gazing into the night … I stood behind her, looking over her shoulder. I resisted the urge to put my arms around her, turn her around and kiss her … but I knew … she was not into me just yet … she was just a woman savouring romance … alone, complete & beautiful … within herself. I was just … someone to share the moment with. Soon she finished her drink.

Me:

Aah ! We need a refill. Shall we ?

She:

Yeah, come on.

Again, she led the way back in and I watched her … lecherously

Me:

Hey! Unless you are dying to get back to those fellas, I think we should get lost here

I think I had a naughty smile onAnd she looked at me and flashed a smile

She:

But how ?

Me:

Come on …

I held her hand & led her, right through the insanity of men & women writhing on Main Dance Floor, all the way through Lounge 2, until the Bar-3 & set about getting our refills. For a while after that, we again sipped out drinks quietly. The music had changed … they were playing ‘Livin’ da vida Loca’

She:

Don’t you have a … girlfriend …or a woman …now ?

Me:

Nope. I am alone

She:

Why ?

Me:

Divorced.

She:

Oh … but why ?

Me:

On a night like this, I don’t remember why …!

She:

Hmm … a man like you … should have a woman … to take care of you.

Me:

Cant there be a better reason … than “to take care of” me ?

She:

What better reason can here be ?

Me:

Maybe I should have a woman so I could just … enjoy her ?

I looked at her. Kinda deep into her eyes. I think for a moment I may have smiled … but I became very serious in a few moments. She considered for a moment or two … and then she burst out laughing ……

She:

You took a long time … to get around to …hit on me … !

She had her laugh. I watched her … and laughed along too

She:

And then … after you have ‘enjoyed her’ … what then?

Me:

I don’t know. Maybe I would like to go on … maybe I wouldn’t. See, it’s easy for a woman to get a man into her bed, but how many can get them to keep coming back … ?

She:

Aww get lost …! You are so proud. So … so … vain. You are so horrible … and I was just beginning to like you! Who do you think you are ? God’s gift to women ?

Me:

No. I am actually a very ordinary chap. It’s just that I don’t confuse sex with love anymore. I’m more in touch with myself. I don’t feel the need to lie just to get laid. I have self control. I can do without it … if I don’t find a woman I really like. Believe me … it’s not pride … not any more …

She:

But if you love her … why would she need to try to get him back ?

Me:

Did I mention love ?

She:

Aren’t you looking for love ?

Me:

C’mon … no illusions here. If love happens … great! But I ain’t looking, hoping, wishing or expecting it.

She:

You are cynical

Me:

Not really … I am just living … going with the flow … I am honest in my relationships … I try not to hurt anyone … it’s possible I might fall in love … I am not scared of getting hurt. But then having experienced marriage & fatherhood & responsibility … now when I meet women … it’ primarily for my … needs. For pure carnal pleasure, ma’am ! See ? Now you know what a bad man I am. Or maybe you can say I am … honest. What you see is what you get … ! See ?

She was leaning towards me, looking at me … listening closely …

She:

Hmm … Okayyyy …. not bad. You are very unusual … but I must admit … I like your .… attitude.

Me:

Right. So, I ‘ll go & get our drinks …while you figure out …whether you are gonna …waste me …or…enjoy me ! Hmm ?

I turned & left with the glasses, quite smug with my … exit line. As I was returning with our drinks, I saw those 2 guys … obviously looking for her. I rushed back …handed her her drink & pulled her along

Me:

C’mon …your friends are looking for you again

I dragged her into the thick of the crowd on Main Dance Floor again, cut right across the passage way & went into the far end of Lounge 1

She:

(Giggle) This is so silly …. I know you are crazy … and …and I don’t know why I am being crazy with you too !!

Me:

Hey …tonight … you are not allowed to think … just …. have fun … alright ?

She:

Whew ! I haven’t done anything like this since my schooldays

Me:

Aaah ! Now we will won’t be bothered until some more time. Now …where were we ?

She:

Where were we ?

Me:

You had to figure out …. whether you are gonna …waste me …or…enjoy me!

She:

I haven’t decided yet … I need to know you some more …don’t I ? We just met here 2 hours ago … no ?

Me:

So what ? I think you know me … as much as you need to. As I know you. I’m sure I know you more that those 2 guys who you came here with.

She:

Really? You think so?

Me:

I am sure they don’t know you hate swimming. I’m sure they don’t know about your boyfriend. They don’t care.

She:

True. They don’t know those things. Maybe they don’t care … but believe me …they know the real me.

Me:

Hmm … tell me then … what’s the real you ?

She:

(Giggle) I won’t tell you. A woman must have some mystery, no ? (She was smiling wide …enjoying herself)

Me:

OK Mystery-Woman … come on … dance with me …

I pulled her into the corner of Dance Floor-2 just as the music played ‘Lay Down Sally’. We danced like there was no tomorrow. We danced like no one was watching. We were oblivious of the 1000+ crowd … we were totally in synch. We danced to each other. We danced for each other. We danced with each other. After a while, a small circle formed around us. Strangers, blonde & black, men & women … watched us … It was as if everyone had tuned in to our ‘chemistry’ … found it beautiful …and wanted a part of it for themselves. Women waved at us. Some of the guys came & patted us both on our shoulders.

And we just danced … in a primal connection … timeless & eternal.

Almost an hour later… she stopped … and stood still … looking at me … so open… so vulnerable … I just took her hand, led her right through the entire length of the Dance Floor 2, out into the balcony again. We both were sweating … and the cool night air outside was just perfect. We lit up out cigarettes. This time she leaned back on my chest, while she gazed out into the night. I held her close with my arm wrapped lightly around her waist. Comfortable. Unhurried. She bent her head back & rested on my shoulder.

She:

I wish this night doesn’t end … I don’t even know your name …I don’t even need to … and yet ….

Me:

Why don’t you call me Shah Rukh Khan ?

She:

Naah …he’s more sexy than you(Giggle). And I think you are taller than him.

Me:

When you know me better, maybe I’ll be sexier than him …eh ?

She:

No … you are different. Very different.

Me:

What’s it worth ? Are you going home with me tonight … or what ?

She stiffened. Leaned away from me.

She:

Be careful of what you say. Don’t make the clock strike midnight.

Me:

Lady!!!

She:

Don’t ! Just don’t say another word … please!

Me:

Why ? What’s wrong, baby ? All I’m doing is asking you to come home with me … I am pretty sure you don’t wanna go with those 2 guys. Do you ?

She looked very distressed. I was very confused. I thought I had to let her know how much I wanted her

She:

No …I don’t want to go with them … but I have to.

Me:

Why ????

She:

Please …don’t ask

Me:

Okay … I’ll make it simple … why wont you come home with me ?

She:

I cant!!!

Me:

Bloody Hell, woman !!! Why not ????

She looked down. I was quiet … but breathing heavily. She looked at me. I thought I saw tears glistening in her eyes.

Me:

What’s your name ?

She:

(Long pause) My name is … Rafaela

Me:

Why can’t you come home with me Rafaela ?

She:

Because …..

Me:

Because what ?

She came close to me. She looked into my eyes. She spoke very slowly, very clearly…..

She:

Because …you cant afford me.

Me:

What ??? What do you mean ??? Hell, you aren’t …like a prostitute …that I cant afford you !!!

She:

But I am … I am a prostitute.

Me:

C’mon ! What are you saying ? Stop bull-shitting me !

She fished out something from the pocket in the folds of her dress …

She:

See this … this is my Singaporean ID Card

And I saw her ID Card … Name: Rafaela bin Sadiq Date of Birth: xx-xx-1972…Address: Pasir Ris, Singapore … Profession: Prostitute Licence No. xxxxxx-xxx …. Last HIV Screening date: xx-xx-xx .. Negative … and the photograph must have been very recent.

Me:

Huh ? Oh my God! Rafaela!

She:

I told you … don’t ask.

Me:

But you know I had to. C’mon … I had to !!!

She:

And now ? Now what ?

Me:

And how much do you cost ? What’s your …rate ?

She visibly hardened. That arrogance came back over her. She smiled. Like she had changed back from a woman into a professional prostitute within seconds

She:

5000 Sing Dollars for the night. I’m game for anything. Only conditions are … you don’t mark me …& you don’t hurt me … What you gonna do, Doctor ?

Me:

Holy shit ! This isn’t happening

She:

Oh yes it is! Hard core reality, Doctor! (She said the word Doctor in extreme sarcasm) But then, men like you don’t pay for sex, do you ?

Me:

Very true … I don’t.

She:

So you see, I go home with those 2 guys …because they have paid up … already … before we got here. They know I am just … a prostitute.

Me:

But …why ??? Why do you have to be a prostitute ?

She:

Oh come on! Think … it’s easy to figure out. The money’s good. I get to be independent. And I’ll have enough saved for my old age. I don’t need to be a burden on my boyfriend.

Me:

He knows ?

She:

Of course! He was one of my best clients … for 2 years. But he doesn’t care. He still treats me like a … person. See ?

Me:

Yeah … now I see … I understand.

She:

You okay now, Doctor ?

Me:

Yeah, sure!

She:

Shall we go back inside ?

Me:

Okay

She:

Now that you know …it changes everything … doesn’t it ? All the magic …for these past few hours … all … zilch, eh ?

Goodbye, Shah Rukk Khan

She was smiling … she knew I was beaten … she knew I couldn’t take it forward from here. Years later, when I looked back, I realised the burden of our Indian upbringing … of our middle-class morality. I just wasn’t man enough to rise above it all and embrace her. Our synch ...our chemistry ….our magic … was undeniable … and yet … as a man, it was my call … and I failed her … or did I fail myself ?

For years, I ‘heard’ her unspoken question, “ Didnt you fall in love with me that night, Doctor ?”

And I took refuge in an excuse …in a song … by the Doors, It goes like this ….

Well, you asked how much I love you
Why do ships with sails love the wind?
And will I be thinking of you
will I ever pass this way again?

I'll be returning some day
Until then…….

Please don't ask me my direction
Let my tracks be buried in the sea
Cause to wander's my infection
'till the four winds bring you back to me

Don't count your memories
think of me as just a dream
Just like this melody, I sing ………